Those of you that know me (or even those that don’t!) will know I really do enjoy talking about mental health. It is one of those conversations more people should be having, and should be aware of, as it will affect us all at some point in our lives. Some more than others of course, some have the odd ‘blip’ which is supported and solved with some caring and compassion, and there are those much like myself have a daily battle and barrage of medications and medicines to get us through the day. (Not that they always work mind, but that is another blog post entirely…) Continue reading
It is no secret that I find the work of Samantha Brick rather appalling. What I find more disheartening is the fact that it is perhaps written purely to be controversial, rather than making any real point whatsoever (lazy journalism in my opinion).
Her most recent article (which lets face it, its for the Daily Fail, what were we to expect anyway?) is possibly one of her worst yet. Continue reading
There has been a lot of talk of late about the shootings at the Elementary school in Sandy Hook, Connecticut. I must open this post by expressing my sorrow to hear of such a tragic event, and how appalling it is that such a tragedy has occurred in what, on the most part, I like to think of as a somewhat civil society.
However, recent coverage of the events has turned my sadness to another direction for another disappointing reason; as the same old stereotypes and assumptions have risen their ever-increasing ugly heads once more.
I’ve found myself in a few situations of late that the mania of bipolar has started to take hold, and some with a few ‘emotional hangovers’ (which i’m sure is a topic that could be covered in one post itself, but I digress…) and I’ve come to question my own management of such mania – not just for my health; but also how it can be viewed by others when doing so.
Over the past few days on Twitter, I have seen more and more examples of blatant sexism that still seems to plague our society and afflict women across the globe.
Of course, the fact that I am outraged at such behaviours and incidents of course puts me (mostly by men, I must add) into the “Angry Feminist” camp. I’m sure they’re waiting for me to shave my head, burn my bra and wonder around various locations with provocative placards in my dungarees. I decided that 140 characters really aren’t enough to put my point and feelings across on the subject; so here is a blog to do so. Continue reading
Firstly, i’d like to clarify that my grammar hasn’t taken a hideous turn for the worse, its a lyric from a Faithless song called ‘Insomnia’ - a song rather aptly named as I am writing this post at silly o’clock in the morning.
Secondly, referring to the Faithless song was probably a bit of a rookie mistake, as if you know the song (or have clicked on the link) know its a bit of a dancey number, and i’m now bopping about in an attempted dance-type fashion as I type. Oops. Continue reading
This is a post i’ve toyed with for a few days, and something i’ve refrained from writing. I guess deep down I owe it to myself to do so, and I guess (in a sentiment that feels odd to write) it is something I owe to anyone that reads my blog.
Its been a difficult few weeks, and ones that I haven’t wanted to talk about. To anyone. I guess, if you’ve been there – you understand. You end up in a bubble of non existence, the world passing you by in a foggy haze, minutes and sometimes months can go by in a blink without a moments notice. You find yourself feeling nothing…and everything. All at once.
The new feeling amidst them all, however, was one of anger.
The last time I went through such a blip I just took on a ‘me against the world’ attitude. Trying to get by on my own, making out i’d get there.. eventually. The secret of it all is… that its exhausting. Putting on a brave face, mostly facing it all completely alone. Its damn hard.
And then it hit me.
Why should I have to? Why shouldn’t I have any support? Why should I have to face it alone and just ‘cope’ ? I was officially fed up of no-one caring. Perhaps it was time to do something about it.
So, last week, I found myself back at my (albeit it, new) Doctors Surgery. I angled in with the ‘insomnia’ approach initially. But after a ‘how are you generally?’ from my seemingly caring Doctor resulted in tears and baring all.
“Okay,” she said. ” We’ll get you on a referral scheme. That’ll take a month. Then after an initial assessment it’s difficult to say how long it will take from there. But that’ll help.”
On one hand, I was impressed. This was more help than I’ve ever received previously, but…this couldn’t be right. Could it?!
Okay, so I work for myself. So, if I don’t sleep, or find myself writing at 2am, its no big deal. Work gets done, everyone is happy. But what if I wasn’t? I was struggling, to say the least. The idea of even looking at a laptop was overwhelming, I could barely step out of bed. The idea of even answering my phone filled me with dread. If I was working a 9-5? To put it bluntly… I’d be fucked. I’d be signed off for months on end. I’d lose credibility. I’d lose my career. Judging by past experience…i’d lose everything.
The thing that angered me the most, is the attitude that this was fairly ‘normal’ procedure. The idea that my life was to be put on hold for two months (best case scenario) was ‘standard’. How is that fair?
How is it fair that I should just sit tight and hope for the best? If things got better, then great…but what if they hadn’t? I’m “used” to the highs and lows now, I know they pass. But I know others don’t. Others don’t have that luxury.
This Waiting Game is appalling, at best.
Some people don’t have months. They barely have minutes. You’re left feeling defeated and desolate with nowhere or one to turn to.
I know this post sounds a little ranty. But perhaps its needed. If anyone else, with any other illness was told to just ‘cope’ on their own for a few months in a ‘best case scenario’ there would be uproar…outrage.
Maybe its time we stand up and be counted too.
Because being treated like a nobody really doesn’t seem to equate to an appropriate course of action. And i’m fed up of not being counted as a ‘somebody’ that matters.
Its Summer, its sunny, and its holiday season. So, like pretty much every woman across our nation, I’m stressed. Its this time of year I find myself more concerned with my appearance than ever.
I am not thin, nor am I fat. I am… dare I say it? Normal. Continue reading
Today has been the day of the Mental Health Debate in the House of Commons. (NB. No doubt there will be catch up on BBC or a round up on various websites, I will post links as available)
It has been highlighted over and over today that 1 in 4 people suffer from some sort of mental health challenge, and I can safely say that of those, 4 in 4 will face some sort of stigma, myself being no exception. Continue reading
For my Birthday Do-over I decided to do something special (read about it here), and wanted to check something off of my ever growing Bucket List.
Of course, It had to be a day in London, and Portabello Road Market seemed perfect. After an obligatory browse around the Lego store and the making of a ‘mini-me’ (courtesy of Westfields), I made my way to Portabello Road.
I had seen Portabello Road Market on the Disney movie ‘Bedknobs and Broomsticks” when I was young, and as well as feeding my ever growing love for our capital city, I knew I just had to visit it one day, and i’m glad I did – it is a truly remarkable place.
I’m not sure what it is about antiques and all things vintage. I love the idea that everything there has a story to be told, a memory, a reason for being. It is all so wonderfully romantic in the most classic of ways. There are so many corners and crevices, with magical things to be found at every turn.
The day finished with a ‘sit’ in Hyde Park, a place that I have so often wanted to go to yet never been (perhaps an additional entry ticked off on the Bucket List even, but it seems silly adding a separate post). It couldn’t have been a more beautiful day. Watching the world go by, basking in the sun, and not to mention the sunset. The sunset was stunning (as you can see from the pictures) and was the perfect end to a perfect day.
I guess as faux-birthday’s go, I didn’t do much, some would even say ‘nothing’, but to me, that ‘nothing’ meant so much more to me than so many ‘somethings’, and suffice to say, I felt like the luckiest lady in the whole world.